1) When you call the hotel, be sure to ask for a room close to the pool so that you can peak out your window and make sure that when you are about to go swimming

a) there are no girls in skanky suits that will only further public suspicion that you are a christian who managed to locate the only non-Mom one piece on sale at Macy’s.

b) that there are absolutely no men from the age of 15 - 45 anywhere near when you arrive in this god-forsaken swimwear.

2) Don’t plan ANY activities, just the outfits, this is in case you decide to do something that may require looking cute (putt-putt, bike riding, beach-walking…)

3)bring extra money for shopping and ditch the alarm clock

And that about covers it. Gotta go pack!!!!!